KEY TO SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

1st Lesson Ephesians 5:25
“Husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the Church, and gave himself for it.”

2nd Lesson Colossians 3:18
“Wives, submit yourselves unto you own husband as it is fit in the Lord.”

Golden Text: 1st Peter 3:8
“Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous.”

MARRIAGE is a holy institution headed by Christ. It entails a lot of sacrifice in love on the part of the couples. The husband should love his wife as Christ loves his church. And what Christ is to his Church so must a husband be to his wife, a Pastor and a Comforter.

Love is the Bridegroom’s commandment. It is not the deed of man, but of God that, a man should love his wife. Christ as the shepherd of the church loves and protects her. He takes care to ensure that no sheep goes astray. The husband has the same duty towards his wife.

To marry is not a difficult question. But can you be the keeper and lover of your wife? This means laying down your life for your wife. If the marriage home is not in peace, the husband is answerable. He is not a good Pastor.
If the wife goes astray, and is perished, God will demand her soul from her husband.

God does not know the woman, but he places everything under the care of the man. And God uses the responsibility of caring for the wife to test the man to see whether he will love his wife as Christ loves him (the husband).
If a husband wants to apply God’s example of love to wedlock, they should first of all ask themselves whether they have received his instructions. Christ is telling all husbands to take good care of their wives and children, and to keep them as a good Pastor does to his flock guiding his life that the sheep may live. He has warned us, that if a man does not love his wife, his prayers will not be heard by God.

But, how many husbands today are ready to learn of Christ? For our sake, Christ suffered to the end; so that for our wives, we may likewise suffer as good Shepherds.

What day has Christ scourged you? What day has he cursed or pronounced woe unto you? What day has he refused to give you food? Or said unto you: “From today, I don’t want you again, go away to your mother.” What day has Christ told you: “This house is mine, I do not want you.” Has he ever told you not to touch anything because you have brought nothing into this world? No never Christ is Bridegroom without blemish.

But contrary to Christ’s expectations and instructions, husbands today are selfish and cause division in the home. They maintain strictly exclusive ownership over this or that thing in the house, whereas, husband and wife should have the same right over everything in the house.

They should share the same trunk box, spoon, plate and cup. There should be no harm in the husband using the wife’s wrappers, and vice-versa—they should have everything in common.
Yet, instead of heeding Christ’s instructions, some husbands treat their yes spitefully, disgracing them whenever and wherever they like. They boast that, they can marry as many women as they like, and in their foolishness, forget that any Pastor who cannot take care of a single sheep, cannot in anyway be safely trusted with two; let alone more.

The Consequences

Look around the world today and see how men suffer the consequences of the ill-treatment they give their wives. Though their negligence, they wreck the marriage home. Tribulations, litigation, fear, illness and wrath are among the things any husband, who does not love his wife, is most liable to suffer.
Danger of Polygamy

Since it is so difficult to successfully be the husband of one wife, polygamy is a real danger we should dread. The man who ill-treats his wife with the hope that he can marry another tomorrow, should note the danger to which he has exposed himself.
This gospel has peace to offer to those who do it, and war to wage against all those who do not do it.

“Husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the Church, and gave himself for it.”
Some people claim that they are behaving as Europeans, first, by living a happy married life. This is not true. The only fact is that, Europeans first embraced Christianity and have successfully applied the principle of love in marriage life. So the man who behaves well in marriage life, is not doing as Europeans, but is doing the word of God as Christ is doing in showing perfect love towards his Church.
Precious

Of all things in the world, what is most precious to a man is his wife. She is lifetime cross that the man has to carry till death separates them. All truth, humility, longsuffering and patience should be employed in the love for his wife. She is the only person with whom you are one flesh in this world. Something you do to your wife is something you do to yourself.
Not Money

Money does not show love in marriage. First ask yourself whether you will be able to carry your wife’s cross during sickness, tribulation want and misfortune. You are her father in tribulation. You are also her mother. You are her brother, sister, and husband. You are her all in all. You cannot think of her clothes, health and food without thinking of how you can supply them.

Disappointment

But disappointment comes when the man who is supposed to be provident in love, comfort and Godliness chooses to deprive his wife of all these rights, simply because he prefers wine, hotel and outside women to his wife.
He leaves his wife too worried to be comfortable. The bad husband causes his wife to wander and go lost like a sheep without a Shepherd.

Punishment

And what punishment awaits such husbands. Their punishment should be heavy, for there is no reason why the love of a husband should be turned from his wife to cinema, bar and outside women. If we care to examine, why should we do things while our wives are refused scratchy crumbs? Why should we give them stone for bread?
Why then should our wives knock and we refuse to open and admit them into out bowels of love. Why should we be stone-hearted against the weaker vessel of the Lord.
Why should we desert them in their Poverty. Why should we be bad Shepherds and anti-Christs.

Christ Surrendered His Wealth

Christ saw how poor we were and so, came and surrendered all his property and heavenly glory, and suffered that we might be filled.
He saw how weak we were and so, surrendered all his strength also that we might be strengthened. But if we fail to follow this example in loving our wives, our punishment is indeed great. We are created in the image of God and Christ. If we do not love our wives, we are no more in the image of Christ, and God is no more in us.

Wife Finds God In Her Husband

All the above mentioned Godly qualities, which Christ shows towards us and His Church, are expected to be seen by the wife in her husband. She finds God in her husband. But supposing the husband does not care to seek, find and abide in God and his Christ, how can the wife see God in him?
How can marriage be successful without the head—Christ? Any husband who hasn’t had Christ, is useless; and a house where the man is useless is good for nothing.

Ruined

Before now, you were saying: “someone has spoiled my house.” But now, you have seen that by telling lies to your wife, causing division in anything with her, and by not loving her as you should, you are the sole cause of unhappiness in your home. Accept Christ as the head of your house, otherwise you are ruined already.

Judgment

If you do not love your wife, you cannot do the work of God and God cannot give you God fearing children.
You cannot have any good thing in life. Because you cast your wife out, you have cast out Christ and all good things. If you desert her, and sleep in some corner in the town you have deserted Christ.
You have exposed her to the danger of death. You have crucified Christ a second time. You are a murderer. Cain was asked by God: “Man, where is thy Brother?” On the judgement day the husband will be asked: “Man, where is thy wife?” How will you be saved if you are a bad husband.

You Need Christ

To be a good husband or good Shepherd, you need no money, drink or medicine as you need Christ. You should use Christ’s instructions to keep your family away from sin, or else, their sins will be counted against you.
Christ is calling upon all husbands to come and learn of Him, how to care for the flock and lay down their lives for them; how to love them and have peace and life eternal. Christ is calling all men. To start rolling on Jesus’ feet and receiving instructions from him is to start being good enough husband.
The husband’s love for his wife must be reciprocated. Therefore, not only the husband needs Christ, the wife also should be a good Christian. She should take Christ’s instructions.

“Wives, submit yourselves unto you own husband as it is fit in the Lord.”
Dear Brethren, have you seen another problem wives? And you wives who have quarreled with your husbands before coming to Church today, had you not told him when you parted in discord, that you had better parted with the foolish man; but you will never part with your God? And are you sure that you have not parted with you God already?
Does a wife who does not submit to her husband remain with God any longer? It does not matter whether you are a millionaire while your husband is a pauper, you must submit to him. And of course, through you your husband should rise and be the same millionaire that you are. He should be what you are and more. He should always be your husband, and you his wife submitting to him in all respects.

No Secret

Why then should a woman take her money to a nearby relation to keep for her. Why should that distant brother be the keeper of her box, while her husband is ignorant of the whole affair? Who authorises the woman to claim that she bought this pot or that knife for her husband or that she brought these things from her parent’s house.
Infact, the wife has nothing of her own. All she has belongs to the husband also. From the day your husband takes you away from your parents, with all your knowledge, beauty from head to toe, with all your vices and virtue, you belong to him all in all.

It becomes your bounding duty to take his instructions. If you cling to your old habits without allowing them to be modified or eradicated by him you are exposed to danger.
Any woman who considers it difficult to regard her husband as her own father had better stayed back a spinster for, she cannot be a house wife. But today, who among black and white women will not throw back five for one word of rebuke from the husband?

How many women abide by the advice of their husbands? How many regard their husbands as their Lords. Apart from Christ the wife has no other King than her husband. The parents are not as important to the woman as her husband.

Respect

Any woman whether black or white who respects her husband respects Christ; and any woman who submits to her husband submits to Christ. Why then, should women who are married wear their marriage rings to go and mess up with other men? I wonder why such women should be called human beings any longer. All your body belongs to your husband exclusively.

Even you have no right to converse with another man on the road without the permission of your husband. You have no power of your own. You have no right to wear anything you like, or to appear any how or in any fashion your husband does not approve of.

Husband’s Permission

You are not permitted to plan or think differently from your husband. It is a sin for you to give anybody a penny without the permission of your husband.
You are not permitted to argue with him. As the heaven is high above the earth, so is the man’s wisdom above that of the woman.

Some women assume too much for the fact that some of them are Queens or Ministers or Prime Ministers. All these are meant to be controlled by men, their position not withstanding. Education has nothing to do in marriage. Money does not give a woman a mandate to be above her husband. Nothing does.

There are some women who think that once they have used their beauty to entrap a man into marriage, they are free afterwards to behave as they like, hoping to use their beauty as an irresistible influence. But I tell you such women had better gone to hell with their beauty.

It were better that they are called “beauty-dung,” submitting it under the husband’s feet for the sake of happy marriage than to face the consequences of the misuse of their beauty in marriage. For they are bound to suffer in the end.

There is another set of women who want to live a free life, and hope to succeed more by having men they simply call “husband.” They therefore use their money to engage poor, simple men whom they hope to control with the influence of money favour. This is a grievous sin for any woman to commit. It does not show the wife’s submission to the husband and is not conducive to love and happy marriage.

Divorce

There are others who think that they can desert their husbands at any time they like, and take up new husbands. Some divorce their husbands and go to stay where they call “convenient homes.” And you foolish woman where do you want to go. Where your husband stays is your town and your home.
It is your heaven. From the day your parents surrendered you to a man in marriage, your parents and relations have no right over you; but your husband has every right over you.

Give Him Food

Women should know that God uses their husbands to test whether they can serve Him: give him food and cloth; because something done by the husband to the wife is something done to Christ. You should be like a loving child to your husband.

A Woman’s Business Is Husband’s

Nothing else should concern wife than her husband. A woman has no other business than her husband. To be a judge is nothing to her. To be a queen is nothing to her. The glory of a woman is her husband. He is her sole business.
If your husband is not asleep, you should not sleep. It is your duty to watch with him. When necessary you should watch over him. When your husband is ill, you are ill with him. His health is your health. And as the Church submits unto Christ, so all women are supposed to submit to their husbands. Any woman who refuses to do this has direct punishment from God.

“Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous.”
The love we have for our wives should be full of humility and sympathy and peace. These qualities should mark our conversations and actions towards them. Your joy and sorrows should be shared in the Spirit of love and oneness.
Your parents in-law are your parents also. A husband should not do anything without seeking the mutual consent of his wife. Christ cannot dwell where there is a division. But where both couples are united and surrender themselves to the will of God, Christ is their bridegroom and is ready to provide their temporal and Spiritual needs. And they are merely brother and sister. That is why we say that in the strict sense of the word no man should be called a husband. Christ alone is a husband, while husband and wife are Brother and Sister.

HAPPY HOME

Therefore there must be Christ in every happy home. There must be singleness of mind, compassion, love and pity between husband and wife. Any person who cannot take care of his house cannot take care of the house of God. Whoever prays for a successful marriage life, happy home, children of promise, should take this gospel as the only condition.
Those who have ears to hear let them hear, may the Lord bless the preaching of his holy word. Amen.

Thank You Father

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